Hallelujah

God has redeemed me, and i am here for apurpose...to grow...to become closer to him, to be in a daily conversational relationship w/ Jesus. God is pulling things out of me, that i didnt even know were there.....Hes saved me....He is here for me...i just have to keep following the holy spirits direction.

Boom.

This is my post today because i dont feel like writing my feelings out, but im feeling alot. boom.

A promise

 i dont wanna seem weak, so ill tell you its fine....ill tell you its fine, because if i ask for prayers, then ill have to act like they are working.....so ill act strong, like nothing is bothering me, and then eventually i will be strong....
Ill tell you its fine, because if im vulnerable.....ill get hurt.
if im vulnerable.....youll see my weaknesses
i hate my weaknesses....they make me insecure
im insecure about being alone....
yes thats true.....but thats not why i like you...ive come to the realization...its not my insecurities....its my heart.....and its God, now im not saying you are wrong with all your talk "NO COMMUNICATION!" "YOULL REGRET IT" i understand your logic....but dont demean, my feelings to insecurities.....because i promise you they are so much more then insecurities.....
insecurities ruin people...and i have them.....but you M.C. are not one of them...i promise you this, and at the end of this....even if we are....just friends....im glad i have you as a friend, and hopefully a best friend....i love you....

Campfire

Today, was a good day, started off by organizing the attic.....jj was in a bad mood, but i didnt care.....then i hung out with kirk basically all day, which was awesome, i really like when hes just super chill.....Hung out with some of the youth kids, and then had a campfire, with riss and kirk....they are so much fun! i love yous guys!! To my future wife: remind me, that there is always some time to just unwind, and escape everything for a little bit.

Choreography

Choreography is alot like discipline, you think your gunna go out and make something amazing.....but you dont realize, you have to listen to the song, 400000 times to get just the first 30 seconds, wow....its alot like discipline, right now im trying to be disciplined enough, to grow in God, and when i started this, i didnt think i would think about it 400000 times a day....its just really cool, because at the end of this discipline and choreo...something great is going to result....#totallyworthit

Psalm 103:1-5

Praise the Lord, my soul;
    all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
² Praise the Lord, my soul,
    and forget not all his benefits—
³ who forgives all your sins
    and heals all your diseases,
⁴ who redeems your life from the pit
    and crowns you with love and compassion,
⁵ who satisfies your desires with good things
    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.   

Praise you, forgive me, redeem me, give me grace, and then bless me. I will do great things in your name, will follow your heart, and rejoice for your presence is always with me.

Macon

We are going to a church in Macon today, by the time i post this, we'll either already be there, or we'll be home. I am really excited to go! This is going to be a really cool experience and I'm going to take it for all its worth. Cassi just shared her testimony in the van, because she is giving hers at the service…..its really amazing and i hope someone is touched by it. Cassi, one day if you view this blog, just know that I love you, and you are such a good leader for all of us. I can't wait to spend next year w/ you. One day you are going to find a man, who will treat you great, and treat you the way your supposed to be treated. I love you.
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 i can't stop thinking……my mind has been running ever since i got off the phone w/ nathan…. he said i should talk to my mom…..im just not sure…..Cassi did really good with her testimony……..everyone clapped when they heard hers……i didn't get a response…..until i actually performed it…….people here don't appreciate me…….and it sucks……they clapped for cassi but they didn't clap for me……its because her testimony was really good!! And i suck. Marissa if you ever read this, and if i ever get over you, or if we end up together……either one is amazing…..because right now i can't get over you and I really feel like God wants us to be together eventually, just not now because i need to grow…….and if i do…it'll also be a work of God, because i am like Jasmine and Aladdin in love w/ you. This is so hard for me….and the person i would normally talk to……my mom…….i don't wanna talk to her……..i wanna talk to you…….God is doing great things in your life, and that is so amazing!! i am literally in shock of the things he is doing in your family, and i am proud to see you growing, through all this. 
To my future wife: thank you for marrying me, because i don't deserve you…….